Husband for Share (another story)

-


The latest news about our beloved Indonesian Da’i shocked me. You-know-who got married again, practicing polygamy.


“What’s wrong with that, Dear? Which part does bother you?” a friend of mine asked me.


Well, it is a sensitive matter. I believe that polygamy is halal in Islam and maybe suits for some cases, and a way out (the best from the worst). But I don’t think every capable man MUST do that. I strongly disagree if someone said it is a ‘sunnah’, better to do it. If it is advised, why did Mohammed (peace upon him) said ‘over my dead body’ (not literally like that, but similar) when Ali asked him to marry another girl than Fatimeh?


 


This matter really annoyed me and brought me into a loooooong discussion with Nino.


“I just wondered what his reason is? Just give me one good reason that satisfied me.”


“There is no good reason,” Nino said. “For nowadays practice, there is no other reason than sex.”


We both read Karen Amstrong’s Mohammad Biography and knew that his marriages after Khadija were practically for political reason.


Nino explained that for a powerful man, there is a psychological desire to have another wife (or wives). There are just two types of these men: the ones that legally hurt their wives and do the polygamy and the ones that cheat behind their wives’ back. Hem, he missed to state the ones that are faithful (maybe those are the rare ones? endangered species?)


“Ouw, will it happen to every man? Including you?” I insisted.


“To every powerful man, because they feel they are capable of doing that. This is just like evolutionary instinct.”


“So, what can woman do about that?”


He laughed. “I’m sorry Darling, but take your defeat. You can either prepare to be hurt or stop your man from being powerful.”


Argh, I can’t do neither of them. Pretty hard to choose, huh?


 


Uhm, what about choosing a husband very carefully? Will this do? Cause I still believe that there are a few good men, when they are (or they think they are) powerful enough to do polygamy, they choose to be faithful to their wives and keep their ‘birds’ in their pants.


Hopefully.


 


Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.


 


A.K.


 


Please read a good explanation of this matter, here.


 


 

Comments

Brécs Man said…
OK, OK.... I won't do that to you.... :)))
6:52 PM
amarellia ary said…
Uhm, what about choosing a husband very carefully? Will this do? Cause I still believe that there are a few good men, when they are (or they think they are) powerful enough to do polygamy, they choose to be faithful to their wives and keep their ‘birds’ in their pants.
===================
well...there are..:))
6:54 PM
Yunisa - said…
Well, in Christianity, poligamy is forbidden at all cost, no matter it is for politics or for sex. And if we trace back from Adam and Eve, God only created one Adam and one Eve. There were no two Eves. Tidak ada perempuan yang mau dimadu.
7:15 PM
ade kumalasari said…
I believe the regulation was made for good. In Islam, the woman has the right to ask for divorce, cause I think it's not wise to force someone living in a hell marriage.
9:05 PM
demit edan said…
i kinda agree with Nino, though...a faithful man is as elusive as Premier League title is to Liverpool..say hi to the old man for me..
8:05 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HIDUP BOLEH SEDERHANA, PENDIDIKAN JANGAN SEDERHANA

-
Image
Ibu saya tidak lulus SD, sekolah hanya sampai kelas 2, cuma bisa baca tulis dan berhitung. Ketika remaja, Ibu menjadi pelayan toko kain. Selama itu, beliau menabung gajinya dengan membeli emas. Setelah menikah dengan Bapak (katanya sih lulus SD, tapi kami tidak pernah melihat ijazahnya), Ibu menjual emasnya untuk modal buka toko. Bapak menjahit dan Ibu berjualan alat-alat jahit seperti benang, kancing, jarum. Keluarga kami hi dup sederhana. Kami tinggal di kios satu lantai. Saya tidur di kasur busa tipis yang digelar ketika toko sudah tutup. Kami tidak punya TV, kalau ada acara menarik (misalnya ketoprak TVRI), kami harus menonton di TV tetangga. Benda-benda mewah seperti kulkas dan sambungan telepon baru kami punya setelah saya lulus SMP.
Baca Selengkapnya »

Time Flies When You Put Your Baby at Childcare

-
Image
Setiap kali ada yang tanya mengapa kita berencana masukin Ayesha (20 bulan) ke childcare, suami saya pasti bilang, "Biar Mala ada waktu untuk nulis." Ouw, that is so sweeeeeet... Tapi itu juga memaksa saya untuk 'produktif' dan lebih bisa menata jadual kegiatan sehari-hari. Childcare di Australia sebenarnya fungsinya sama dengan Tempat Penitipan Anak di Indonesia. Childcare di sini bukan sekolah TK. Anak-anak sejak usia 6 bulan sampai 5 tahun bisa dititipkan seharian di Childcare kalau orang tuanya bekerja/sekolah. Untuk anak usia di atas 5 tahun wajib untuk masuk Kindergarten (selama 1 tahun), dilanjutkan dengan sekolah dasar (Primary School). Beda dengan Sekolah Dasar yang digratiskan untuk citizen dan permanent resident, Childcare ini biayanya mahal banget. Makanya tidak semua orang mampu menitipkan anaknya ke Childcare. Di Lakemba Childcare, biaya nya $73 per hari. Biaya dihitung per hari meskipun jam masuk dan keluarnya bebas. Anak yang hanya masuk setengah h...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Resep Diet Mayo 13 Hari

-
Image
Makan siang Diet Mayo hari pertama Beneran nih mau nyoba diet mayo? Sudah baca pengalaman saya di sini kan? Nggak usah takut, dietnya nggak nyiksa-nyiksa banget kok, seenggaknya buat saya. Menu diet mayo sudah ditentukan untuk 13 hari. Ada menu sampai hari ketujuh, lalu hari kedelapan menunya mengulang dari hari pertama. Kabar baiknya, menu diet mayo ini bisa diakali agar ada rasanya, asal tidak ditambahi garam. Bumbu-bumbu lain seperti bawang, bawang bombay, bawang merah, lada putih, lada hitam, cabe dan berbagai macam herba diperbolehkan. Tapi nggak boleh pakai kecap manis atau saus tomat botolan ya. Bahkan mentega pun boleh, asal yang tawar ( unsalted butter ). Untuk sarapannya gampang banget, biasanya secangkir kopi atau teh, dengan 1 sendok teh gula rendah kalori. Saya pakai gula Tropicana Slim. Di hari keempat ada tambahan 1 iris roti bakar. Saya pakai roti gandum utuh ( whole wheat bread ). Sarapan hari kelima agak susah, karena cuma 1 wortel besar mentah yang diparut da...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Numpang Tanya

-
Image
Di Sydney dilarang tersesat. Di Indonesia sih gampang, kalau tersesat tinggal tanya penjual teh botol di pinggir jalan, atau tanya tukang tambal ban. Di sini, kalau nggak tahu jalan ya nggak bakalan bisa pulang. Kalau maksa nanya sama orang paling jawabannya, " Dunno Mate ." Itu sebabnya semua orang wajib memiliki peta jalan. Kalau ingin peta jalan yang komplit ya harus punya buku setebal buku telepon itu. Di sini, peta jalan diterbitkan dan diperbarui setiap tahun, jadi kalau ada pembangunan jalan atau fasilitas baru, langsung ketahuan di peta. Beda dengan peta jalan Surabaya terbitan Periplus tahun 2007 yang saya gunakan dulu. Nggak sama antara peta dan kenyataan. Kami pernah mencari alamat dengan menyusuri jalan di daerah Barata Jaya, eh, tiba-tiba jalannya menghilang, padahal di peta masih ada. Hem, salah strategi deh. Di Surabaya memang lebih manjur tanya tukang tambal ban daripada baca peta. Kalau males (atau nggak bisa) baca peta, bisa numpang tanya sama O...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Happy Library Lovers Day

-
Image
Do you still celebrate Valentine Day? That's so yesterday... In this new era, we'd like you to join us celebrating February 14th as Library Lovers Day . HAPPY LIBRARY LOVERS DAY to the bookworms everywhere... show your affection, visit the library! A.K. send me books, not flower nor chocolate
Baca Selengkapnya »

Hampden Road Reserve

-
Image
Enaknya tinggal di Sydney, ada taman bermain di tiap RW-nya. Bukannya ada RW beneran, tapi di tiap blok perumahan pasti ada fasilitas tamannya. Asyiknya, taman-taman ini luas, bersih dan gratis. Ada bermacam-macam taman di sini, antara lain taman bermain (playground), taman untuk berolahraga (ada lapangan olahraganya dong...), taman untuk barbekyu, atau sekedar taman rumput doang. Taman bermain yang paling dekat dengan apartemen kami adalah Hampden Road Reserve, jaraknya 6 menit jalan. Luasnya kira-kira setengah lapangan sepak bola. Di tengah-tengah ada satu set permainan anak-anak: ayunan, perosotan dan anjut-anjutan. Di samping mainan anak-anak, ada satu bidang tanah lapang yang cocok untuk main bulu tangkis (cuman nggak ada tiang untuk net). Taman juga selalu dilengkapi bangku-bangku taman dan pancuran air untuk minum. Tiap sore, taman ini ramai sekali anak-anak bermain, maklumlah pemukiman padat anak. Kalau sudah ramai begini biasanya Anindya ogah bermain, mungkin malas harus menan...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Profesi Kita, Impian Yang Hidup

-
Image
Suasana di kelas. Foto oleh Adiar Ersti "Kita ini orang-orang gila yang kurang kerjaan," kata Bu Ita Guntari, financial planner yang duduk di sebelah saya di briefing Kelas Inspirasi Surabaya. Celetukan beliau diamini oleh Bu Astrid Wiratna, psikolog RS Siloam, yang tertawa lebar di kursi di belakang saya. Kami termasuk ratusan orang yang menyambut tantangan "mengajar sehari" di SD negeri, untuk menginspirasi mereka tentang profesi yang kita geluti. Tadinya saya merasa nggak pede, saya kan nggak sukses-sukses amat, profesi saya 'cuma freelancer'. Tapi kalimat itu bagaikan lampu menyala di atas kepala saya. Justru itu, Cyin! Anak-anak ini perlu diberi wawasan kalau kita bisa kerja kreatif dari mana saja, tidak perlu masuk kantor, tidak harus kerja di jam tertentu, bisa sambil tetap momong anak, dan nggak peduli kita lulusan apa asal punya keahliannya. (alasan yang terakhir semacam curcol!). Trrrrriiiiiiing!!! Saya putuskan mengisi formulir, mendaftar i...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Day Off

-
Image
What will you do in your day off? When you are able to take off your 'mother-hat' and your 'wife-hat' and simply become you. I have two days off every Thursday and Friday, when Didi goes to ChildCare. I always look forward to these days, imagining what I can do to indulge myself. However, as the day comes, I simply don't know what to do. Last week, I planned to have a luxurious bath with my Body Shop champagne-scent bubble bath, but then I realized that my bathtub was a bit leak. I wanted to go shopping, but I thought that shopping was included in a housewife's task (wasn't it?), so better not to do it in my day off.  So, I enjoyed myself reading for hours (at that time: Burnt Toast - Teri Hatcher's Autobiography), then I put some more sentences to my forever-unfinished novel. After that I returned some books to the library and called my sister on the way home. Unfortunately, she's busy with her new band (or maybe a new boyfriend). Then I thought may...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Blog Saya Menang Lomba? Masak Sih?

-
Tadinya saya iseng ikut lomba Blog Writing Competition yang diadakan oleh Garuda Lovers Community . Saya sudah posting tulisan ini sebelum saya tahu ada lomba tersebut. Makanya, begitu tahu ada lomba, saya ikutkan saja tulisannya, kebetulan temanya cocok banget. Tadi barusan di-email Mama, katanya dapat surat ( yes, snail mail ) dari Garuda (dikirim ke alamat rumah di Malang), blog-ku menang juara dua. Hadiahnya tiket Garuda Jakarta - Balikpapan pp. Sayangnya, tiket ini tidak bisa dialihkan atau dijual. Waduh, sama juga bohong ya. Masak saya harus balik dulu ke Jakarta untuk bisa menikmati gratisan ke Balikpapan. Lagian, ngapain ke sana? Coba kalau hadiah bisa dialihkan atau ditukar, kan tidak terbuang sia-sia. Terus, kok bisa menang ya? Saya sendiri juga heran. Padahal saya nulisnya nggak bagus-bagusin Garuda loh. Atau mungkin karena saya jujur dan apa adanya ya? Hehehe. Masih nggak percaya nih, secara saya belum melihat dengan mata kepala sendiri bahwa saya menang lomba. Barusa...
Baca Selengkapnya »

Melancholy

-
Closer to lebaran, I realize that I miss Lebaran atmosphere in Indonesia so much. This surprises me as I've never felt homesick before. To be honest, I enjoy living here. I can read as many books as I want. I breathe the fresher air. I eat better food, and I learn so many new things, inc. cooking, not only aussie's but also international meals. However, I really miss the hectic atmosphere of Lebaran, when people rush to get to the hometown, when people do unreasonable lebaran shopping.  Here, I just can't feel the atmosphere. I didn't know where to go for Eid Pray, until this afternoon. I hear no takbir. Plain. I did my best to make this lebaran a real lebaran. I did shopping spree for lebaran clothes (ehem, it's an excuse to buy new clothes actually, hehehe, but it worked). I cooked ketupat (not in coconut leaves, but in polyethylene plastics), gulai and cucumber pickles. Nino asked me, "Why bother?"  Well, I just wanted to. I just wanted this to be speci...
Baca Selengkapnya »